Dear Fellow Writer/Creative/Artist,

Do you feel pulled between taking care of the bills and doing what you love?

Do you get that gnawing feeling inside that you’re missing out on something great?

Do you feel like you somehow missed opportunities because you were trying to be responsible?

Does it make you heartsick to see that person who seemed like they had no idea what was going on in their own lives end up with finished projects and works, and are now living the life you envision for yourself?

Or is this just me?

Let me tell you what I’ve been up to lately…

I’ve been working on a lot of projects. Some have been necessary. Paying the bills and buying food, that kind of stuff.

Ordinary stuff.

Responsible stuff.

Or are they?

Has my commitment to being responsible my excuse for not pushing for the life I want? I mean, I need to eat right? I need to pay the bills…life is so much easier when I don’t need to worry about the bills…

But then there are other kinds of necessary.

Things that make your heart happy, make your soul sing.

The stuff of life that makes you jump out of bed every morning ready to take charge.

I want to feel that again. Recharged. The opposite of numb and faking it.

I want to truly and fully live within the warm and cozy bits that makes me feel alive.

Powerful.

Shiny.

I know I should be grateful that my bills are paid. That I have food. That I have shelter.

But it’s not enough.

Even the little bit of artistry I experience in my day job no longer satisfies me for longer than a day. In fact, sometimes the borrowed artistry makes it even harder for me to breathe the next day because I feel the loss of my own art more acutely.

Well, I’m done.

I’m not saying I refuse to be responsible. More like I refuse to hide any longer. I refuse to be content with a comfortable and mediocre life.

Nothing comes from The Comfortable. Growth comes especially at the point where we are uncomfortable. That’s where we take on new challenges, become more adept at whatever skill we choose to focus on.

That’s what I will choose to do now.

I’ve been writing a little bit of a departure from the Urban Fantasy and taking on Romance. It’s under a pen name, just so no one will be confused.

I’m blogging now so I can be accountable to showing up and finishing things that I’ve started. It shouldn’t be so hard, but that just tells me that this means something to me.

So, first things first: Internal Value.

I believe in expressing gratitude and affirmations. It reminds me of who I am, and what I want in my life. Here are some examples:

I am grateful for what I have. I thank God for providing. I have all that I need.

I am safe.

I have people who support me and my work. I help those who need my help. I encourage and lift others up.

I am loved.

I will work on my craft. I will commit to finishing my edits. I will polish and edit my stories to the best of my ability, and then it will be sent off to editors.

I am wise.

External Value: Why Am I Doing This?

Why do I put myself through this internal struggle to write? Because I’m a writer. Writing my stories, creating worlds that only exist in my head, and sharing it with others…this is what makes me feel the most free and alive.

I also believe that there is value in putting entertainment and fun out there in the world. I love being immersed in another world for hours at a time when reading books, and I want to give that same feeling to others.

I believe that hard work earns me the right to get paid for what I do. Maybe not right away, but eventually. Especially when I serve readers first.

I want this more than I want to watch movies or watch TV shows. I want to spend my days traveling and writing on my own computer and on my own terms more than I want the supposed comfort of a day job.

Then, How Am I Going To Do This?

Every day of this month (May) I will show up and work on my fiction. I will edit and send off to my editors my current project, and when I’m done with that I will move back to GRIT.

Every week, for the next month, I will show up on Mondays ready to tell you what I’ve done for the week. I will talk about my edits, my work, and what I’m doing.

And, if I’m feeling really good, I’ll also be sharing snippets of my work!

I will see how well I’ve done come May 31. If it turns out the way I hope it will, I will continue doing this with every project of mine until I can report that I have resigned from my day job.

WOW.

That freaks me out just thinking it.

Which means, it’s a good thing.

I look forward to telling you all what’s up next week. In the meantime, feel free to comment below on what you’re dealing with.

What’s ONE thing that you have always dreamed of doing, but have always wrapped up with very nice excuses?

{If you want to stay updated on what I’m doing, drop your email below!  Thanks for reading! xx}